“Today I have a Soul that seems the Death of my Nerves”

A work in Progress - cut short before its time due to the pandemic.

The title is an appropriation of one of Fernando Pessoa’s poems.
I never planned of this. It was not for the eyes or ears of anyone. It was not planned or researched. It was all the pieces falling together in a moment of clarity or stupidity or boldness.

This is a confessional work. An inside look into the mundane realities of depression, dissociation and self-destruction. A collection of photos with my mobile phone, during depressive episodes, when I would feel my thoughts taking self-destructive paths. The photographs were taken in an attempt to ground myself back into reality and their subjects depict the exact point my gaze would rest during those moments.

The installation, a replication of my bedroom, works as an analogy for a depressive headspace. The poetics of this domestic space with its derealised personal objects, form an exploration of the tensions between conforting and confining. The photographs, create a bridge (they function as windows one would say) between the outside world and the inner realities of mental illness. 

Sadly, this project had to be put on pause after GSA’s lockdown. It will be continued at first chance. 


Very early stage installation maquette - documentation of work in progress: